the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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