His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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