erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
