I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize