i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
