Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
