i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
false alarm. still invincible.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
