hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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