I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
