I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
