i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she looked like the before picture.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
