i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
