I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
