dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
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The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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