walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
