Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
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i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
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Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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