Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
