WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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