I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
