i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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