direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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