I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Damn victory sex feels great
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