on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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