i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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