even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
