I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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