I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
