I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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