This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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