toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
