apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
i think im in europe. pls send help
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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