hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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