Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize