Do you still have your period?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
