i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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