Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Actions speak louder than pants.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
