Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
