i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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