Cold hands, warm shart.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
