How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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