My first STD was from a foam party
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
As shirtless as possible
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
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Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
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I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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