Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
