turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
