Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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