You're a womanizer and a bitch.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
