By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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