I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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