i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
