i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
