I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
