I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
