I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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