You made me cry and you don't even care
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
