If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
