Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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