seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
