The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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