Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
