my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
