Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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