he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
